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[mousquetaire]

 

DARTAGNAN@CDC.ORG
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Comments

after rikki's death announcement

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

are you okay?

[mousquetaire]

[ He's very much not okay. He'd been training her. She was his friend, and he'd wanted to protect her, and now-- ]

FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org

I'm going to kill whatever did this, Alina.

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

Where are you?

[mousquetaire]

FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org

Our room.

[ Because he needs to get himself together before he can let his team see him. He can't lead if his eyes are wet and his hands are shaking. ]

[solkoroleva]

[ It doesn't take her long. She doesn't even bother with a second message. She's close enough. She finished helping the others where they needed, but she was still on break, so she used the moment to get back to d'Artagnan.

And the first thing she did when seeing him was run to his side to wrap her arms around him and hug him tightly. ]

[mousquetaire]

[ For a moment he's almost resistant to that.

Then, suddenly, he's pliant, and sinking in against her. He's not properly crying, but his eyes are still wet. He can't decide whether he's upset or furious.

It's kind of both. ]

She didn't deserve this. She was a good woman.

She didn't deserve any of this.

[solkoroleva]

[ She doesn't say anything. She just waits. She waits for him to give into it, like she knows he will.

And suddenly he does. He's lets her hold him and she just hugs him tighter and buries her face against his chest as he speaks.

She shakes her head. ]

She didn't. You didn't.

I'll stop this, d'Artagnan. I'll find a way.

[mousquetaire]

[ His head lifts suddenly, and so does his hand - the latter, to cup her cheek. ]

Alina, no. This isn't your fault. You've been doing everything you can.

None of us were able to stop it. If we had, maybe Rikki would still be alive.

[solkoroleva]

[ She leaned in to kiss his forehead when he looked at her with this wide eyes. ]

I'm sorry about your friend. I saw that name and....

I'm sorry it was someone close to you.

[mousquetaire]

[ He just leans against her. This helps. ]

You lost a friend too. You lost Isaac.

[ Looking up at her. ]

I'm sorry too. We should've stopped this, Alina.

[solkoroleva]

[ She keeps holding him as he does, rubbing his arm.

She shakes her head. ]

This isn't your fault, d'Artagnan. Please don't blame yourself.

[mousquetaire]

Of course it is. It's all of our fault, but my team? Green is supposed to protect the crew.

[ It's the one part of this job that he finds to be a good thing. ]

We can't even do that right.

[solkoroleva]

We protect each other. This isn't just on you guys.

[ she touches his cheek gently, meeting his eyes. ]

You did the best you could do. You will continue to do so.

[mousquetaire]

But I won't save Rikki. Or Isaac, or Isabel.

And look how many people are still missing. Including Clary.

[ She's trying to comfort him, he knows that. So he sighs, and leans into her hug. His eyes close. ]

I'm sorry. I just want to fix this. Whatever killed her has to die, Alina.