[She felt her heart leap high and hit hard against her chest just then. The flame dies just as she curls her fingers around his. She's not sure if she'll ever be used to this type of affection.]
They would've made a fortune off me, too, had they turned me in. I could've been their endless supply of disposable income if I'd gotten good at fighting.
[Deep in her heart, she does know she deserves better, as do all the others abandoned and betrayed for the Circuit. But it would never happen, not there, and not now.
How was it easy to explain the Circuit to the others but not to him? Nothing said that he had to know, but to not tell him would feel as if she were being dishonest. There is no mystery to her, no allure or vagueness in her nature. It's not her.
She settles her forehead on his, pursing her lips. To put into words who and what she is proves no easy task, especially not for her. Necessity drove her to hide who she is.]
D'Artagnan, I told you I was a mess and I meant it. There's a lot you don't know about me. You're... [She falters. When was the last time she held a connection like this? Never, maybe? She'd been running since she was eighteen. Seven years of dodging your fate doesn't lend itself to much.] You're amazing, you're everything I could ever want, what every girl should have, but you don't deserve not knowing who I really am. Maybe you won't know it all until years from now, but if you want... if you're willing to put up with that...
[The statement hangs between them unfinished. She doesn't know how to put in useful words that she'd try, too, that maybe she wouldn't completely change, because she can't even guarantee that for herself, but she'd be there for him, no matter what. She struggles to say that he'll get her story someday, when she's okay with it, too.
Her heart almost literally aches as it hammers inside her. A part of her hates this, because she can't ever make the right sort of risk. It could backfire like everything else already has.]
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They would've made a fortune off me, too, had they turned me in. I could've been their endless supply of disposable income if I'd gotten good at fighting.
[Deep in her heart, she does know she deserves better, as do all the others abandoned and betrayed for the Circuit. But it would never happen, not there, and not now.
How was it easy to explain the Circuit to the others but not to him? Nothing said that he had to know, but to not tell him would feel as if she were being dishonest. There is no mystery to her, no allure or vagueness in her nature. It's not her.
She settles her forehead on his, pursing her lips. To put into words who and what she is proves no easy task, especially not for her. Necessity drove her to hide who she is.]
D'Artagnan, I told you I was a mess and I meant it. There's a lot you don't know about me. You're... [She falters. When was the last time she held a connection like this? Never, maybe? She'd been running since she was eighteen. Seven years of dodging your fate doesn't lend itself to much.] You're amazing, you're everything I could ever want, what every girl should have, but you don't deserve not knowing who I really am. Maybe you won't know it all until years from now, but if you want... if you're willing to put up with that...
[The statement hangs between them unfinished. She doesn't know how to put in useful words that she'd try, too, that maybe she wouldn't completely change, because she can't even guarantee that for herself, but she'd be there for him, no matter what. She struggles to say that he'll get her story someday, when she's okay with it, too.
Her heart almost literally aches as it hammers inside her. A part of her hates this, because she can't ever make the right sort of risk. It could backfire like everything else already has.]