[ elena's judged herself enough for the both of them, honestly. she spent so long trying to run from her feelings that she exhausted herself. in the end, now... she wishes she'd just accepted it and been with damon sooner. if this was the way it was going to end, if he was always going to die for stefan the way he did... they could have had so much more time. it was all her fault that their time was cut as short as it was -- they could have had a whole year together, rather than the paltry few months they'd had. but then, even a year wouldn't have felt like long enough. nothing short of centuries, of forever, would have been enough for her.

but they didn't get that, and elena just has to learn to live with it. armada made that clear. ]

Oh, I don't think Armada was harsh. He was right, I've let myself be consumed by this pain for too long. I trust Armada, if he says I've been moping too long then I have been, and I need to find a way to... not move on, because that's probably not possible, not with Damon. But I can use the pain, somehow.

[ though she's not exactly how to do that. she doesn't want to try to turn it into rage and use it to fight the things that will inevitably endanger the crew -- that seems like an insult to his memory, much as damon himself would probably approve of it. maybe instead she can use it to help people, like vriska when she was hallucinating and needed someone to try to bring her back. ]