Those words hit hard, stinging even though Steve's tone is careful. Someone who is new, someone who does not even know d'Artagnan, should not be able to prick at his heart like that. ]
Do you think it's what I want?
[ He can't help snapping. His temper has been frayed because of Alina's predicament already. ]
I hate it! I do it because I have no choice, because if I don't, my Earth will be next. Whatever you think of me, don't imagine that I'm here to enjoy it.
[ If he could escape, without harm to the people he loved, he would do it. Being here and helping them is destructive to his sense of honour, to his sense of self. D'Artagnan doesn't know how to overcome that, but he will not let anyone think he doesn't feel it in the first place. ]
[The lead snaps back at him and Steve doesn't flinch because he's used to yelling, but the words still hit him. The CDC is holding worlds hostage to achieve their goals. It isn't this man's fault, despite the frustration that Steve feels about the whole thing. He does want to blame them, because he was fooled by that false plea for help. Maybe he was hoping that d'Artagnan would defend their actions and prove to be a loyal hand in the organization. At least that would make things straightforward.
But it's not that easy. Bucky would have said as much and Sam would be disappointed to know he was egging this man on out of his own frustration. Maybe he deserves to be here.]
Is that what they told you? That if you didn't comply you would be next?
[He's still resisting. Still fighting against the whole thing, even if he doesn't have something to hit. There's a quiet fire in his eyes, pushing back against d'Artagnan's argument even though he has nothing to fight.]
[ He can't do this now. He does not have time to do this now, not with recruits in trouble and Alina relying on him. He cannot get caught up in this, because the desire to take it personally, to shout and snap about how much he hates this, is far too strong. ]
It's what I've seen.
[ Unbidden, he thinks of Optimus Prime again. Of the footage they'd shown, of the stark warning that this was the fate that awaited both them and their worlds if they did not comply.
A moral stance is easy to take when the stakes are low. But there would be nothing right about sending the CDC to Earth. D'Artagnan can't allow his home to suffer for what's happening here. First and foremost, his duty is to protect them. ]
It's what they do. If you think their threats are empty, then believe me when I say they are not. If you have a world to defend, you should listen to me. I wish it were as easy as saying no, but it's not. That would be the death sentence for my whole world. Could you live with that? Because I cannot.
[The answer is so convinced and hard that Steve grits his teeth. The urge to rise to the challenge and argue back surges up, because he's always been that way, but-- but the anger has nothing to do with the man in front of him. He's suffering, and Steve doesn't know how much he's really seen.
He stays tense, but bites his tongue. It takes a few careful, controlled breaths, but he manages to keep his response level.]
No. But I'm not sure I can live with sentencing another world to death either. It's not just these hostile villages living here. Some of them should have a chance...
[That's what he wants to believe. Because that's what he's used to and the answer has always been there. But that was on Earth--and there had been times when the solution wasn't quite so simple. Lately, he's been struggling with that.]
[ D'Artagnan hates this. Is he supposed to stand here and argue for the opposite of what he believes? To talk an honourable man into doing what he knows to be wrong, is that what's expected of him?
He can't. He can't do this, he doesn't even want to think about this now. They have Alina, and the other prisoners, and if they're not defeated those people will die. D'Artagnan can't allow that. That's what he needs to be focusing on.
Not the thing that would stay his hand. ]
Spare them, and doom your own world.
[ He says it bluntly, flatly, because it's frankly the only reason he's not arguing for the same thing Steve is. ]
This is not a game. We don't have the option of saying that no one dies, because we are in their power, and we comply, or they destroy all that we love.
[ He can't make it any more clear. He saw what happened to Optimus Prime, and he will not let that happen to Earth. He steps up close to Steve now, angrier than he was, and all the more eager to leave as a result. ]
The people taken are my friends. What's happening isn't their fault, and I won't let them die for it. So you help me, or you get out of my way. I don't care who you are.
[Steve knows there's an ultimatum. Even if it hadn't been spelled out, he would know by the hints that had been dropped for him. The dark amusement the woman had when she told him that Earth was under threat and the mission here. Hearing D'artagnan state it only confirms his worst fears.
Now, what is he going to do? Even if they are holding planets hostage, it doesn't change that fact that right now on this planet there are people captured and facing death right now. He can't abandon them. He keeps his eyes on D'Artagnan's, a hard stare that doesn't show the turmoil he's actually feeling.]
I was a soldier. I know what the price of battle is. Where I'm from, we tried to preserve whatever lives that we could.
[It doesn't come out angry, but he doesn't move either. He takes the team leader's words in with his head raised and an even expression that is mostly weighing what he says. These are the words that will decide his course of action, because he's certainly not going to do it just for the CDC or because of threats. The real fight is more than that. It's about lives.
The people taken are my friends... and I won't let them die for it.
Simple, but sincere. More sincere than the woman who called him here, and while D'Artagnan laid down his threat, it was done so for the safety of those he cares about. There's a heart behind his actions. Honor. He's a good man in a bad position, and that means everything. Don't get in my way. The words of a desperate man. Steve's posture relaxes slightly.]
I came here to help and that's what I'm going to do. We'll get you're friends back, so take care of the rest of the team for now. Don't rush in. The people here need you too.
[ He's heard that so much lately. Someone else needs you. Don't rush in, don't get angry, don't do the wrong thing.
He tries to push the anger down. Nothing else matters, so long as they get their people back. That's what's important, what has always been important. ]
We're not rushing. We have a plan, and it will work. It has to.
[ He steps away from Steve. Realistically, he thinks he needs to - in part because their time is short, and shortening the longer they stand here, and in part because if that argument starts up again he's likely to do something he'll regret. ]
Please, get ready to leave. I need to make sure everyone else is doing the same.
[ He turns, and then pauses. ]
If you need anything more, you can find me. What you said to me. Be careful who else you say it to. They listen.
[He realizes he upset the man. Honestly, as a team leader, he could probably take action against him now if he wanted. But Steve is also aware that time is fleeting and as much as he would like to argue, he can't afford to do that.
He's going to help. If he's decided that, then it's about time he started.]
I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble. We'll accomplish this mission. I can promise you that.
[Maybe that's not quite an apology, but it's an assurance that he'll do everything in his power to help and not hinder the operation. Personal feelings or not, he's not going to get distracted.]
[ It's not that d'Artagnan doesn't sympathise. His problem is more that he sympathises too much. No one needs to tell him that what's happening here is not just, that it's morally reprehensible, or that the CDC needs to be stopped. He knows all of that. If he could take them down here and now, he would do it.
But he has also seen what they're capable of. He's seen them wipe a planet from the sky, he's seen tiny little Gliese fly through Optimus Prime over and over again to leave his metallic frame riddled with holes. The scale of the danger they represent to Earth can barely be measured, so until he has a way to guarantee the planet's safety, he can't be the one to sign their death warrant. He has a duty to protect his world. He won't fail in that.
He nods to Steve. He doesn't want to see his Earth meet that fate either. All he can do is hope he got that message across. Somehow, he doubts it. He hadn't fully accepted the price he was paying until he saw them wipe out Ajna. Steve hasn't seen that, yet. ]
Try. I know how much you hate it, because I hate it. You're allowed to hate. But act against them, and they won't hesitate. That's what they told me.
[ What Armada told him. All he's doing is passing the warning on. ]
[He's not ready to let the CDC have their way, and he might never be, but for the moment at least, Steve has decided the more immediate problem is rescuing the captives from the Neraki. Whether they were right or wrong to be on the planet, they don't deserve to be executed. This isn't what they want, and d'Artagnan himself has confirmed that much to Steve.
He raises his head, expression confident and calm despite the clash they just had. He was Captain America, and part of him still is yet. There's a measure of pride that goes along with that. No matter how dirty the fight gets or how hard the decisions are, he'll keep going. And he can give his full effort for something like rescuing allies and people's friends. Steve doesn't know of the bloody action the CDC has taken against mutiny, but he can guess. The reaction d'Artagnan had to his pressure--harsh in a way that was far from clinical--tells him he's walking into dangerous territory.]
I understand. There are people out there that need us, and we won't let them down. You can be sure of that much. I don't leave people behind.
[ D'Artagnan glances at him, eyes narrowing briefly. ]
Neither does the other Steve. He's a friend.
[ If they have anything in common, it would be that. Heroism. Honour. The very things that d'Artagnan admires in Steve Rogers' counterpart. He hopes this version can live up to the name.
He'll move off then, unless he's stopped for more questions. The conversation has shaken him, and he needs to refocus and make sure everyone's ready to move. The sooner this day is over, and his friends are safe again, the better. ]
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no subject
Those words hit hard, stinging even though Steve's tone is careful. Someone who is new, someone who does not even know d'Artagnan, should not be able to prick at his heart like that. ]
Do you think it's what I want?
[ He can't help snapping. His temper has been frayed because of Alina's predicament already. ]
I hate it! I do it because I have no choice, because if I don't, my Earth will be next. Whatever you think of me, don't imagine that I'm here to enjoy it.
[ If he could escape, without harm to the people he loved, he would do it. Being here and helping them is destructive to his sense of honour, to his sense of self. D'Artagnan doesn't know how to overcome that, but he will not let anyone think he doesn't feel it in the first place. ]
no subject
But it's not that easy. Bucky would have said as much and Sam would be disappointed to know he was egging this man on out of his own frustration. Maybe he deserves to be here.]
Is that what they told you? That if you didn't comply you would be next?
[He's still resisting. Still fighting against the whole thing, even if he doesn't have something to hit. There's a quiet fire in his eyes, pushing back against d'Artagnan's argument even though he has nothing to fight.]
no subject
It's what I've seen.
[ Unbidden, he thinks of Optimus Prime again. Of the footage they'd shown, of the stark warning that this was the fate that awaited both them and their worlds if they did not comply.
A moral stance is easy to take when the stakes are low. But there would be nothing right about sending the CDC to Earth. D'Artagnan can't allow his home to suffer for what's happening here. First and foremost, his duty is to protect them. ]
It's what they do. If you think their threats are empty, then believe me when I say they are not. If you have a world to defend, you should listen to me. I wish it were as easy as saying no, but it's not. That would be the death sentence for my whole world. Could you live with that? Because I cannot.
no subject
He stays tense, but bites his tongue. It takes a few careful, controlled breaths, but he manages to keep his response level.]
No. But I'm not sure I can live with sentencing another world to death either. It's not just these hostile villages living here. Some of them should have a chance...
[That's what he wants to believe. Because that's what he's used to and the answer has always been there. But that was on Earth--and there had been times when the solution wasn't quite so simple. Lately, he's been struggling with that.]
no subject
He can't. He can't do this, he doesn't even want to think about this now. They have Alina, and the other prisoners, and if they're not defeated those people will die. D'Artagnan can't allow that. That's what he needs to be focusing on.
Not the thing that would stay his hand. ]
Spare them, and doom your own world.
[ He says it bluntly, flatly, because it's frankly the only reason he's not arguing for the same thing Steve is. ]
This is not a game. We don't have the option of saying that no one dies, because we are in their power, and we comply, or they destroy all that we love.
[ He can't make it any more clear. He saw what happened to Optimus Prime, and he will not let that happen to Earth. He steps up close to Steve now, angrier than he was, and all the more eager to leave as a result. ]
The people taken are my friends. What's happening isn't their fault, and I won't let them die for it. So you help me, or you get out of my way. I don't care who you are.
no subject
Now, what is he going to do? Even if they are holding planets hostage, it doesn't change that fact that right now on this planet there are people captured and facing death right now. He can't abandon them. He keeps his eyes on D'Artagnan's, a hard stare that doesn't show the turmoil he's actually feeling.]
I was a soldier. I know what the price of battle is. Where I'm from, we tried to preserve whatever lives that we could.
[It doesn't come out angry, but he doesn't move either. He takes the team leader's words in with his head raised and an even expression that is mostly weighing what he says. These are the words that will decide his course of action, because he's certainly not going to do it just for the CDC or because of threats. The real fight is more than that. It's about lives.
The people taken are my friends... and I won't let them die for it.
Simple, but sincere. More sincere than the woman who called him here, and while D'Artagnan laid down his threat, it was done so for the safety of those he cares about. There's a heart behind his actions. Honor. He's a good man in a bad position, and that means everything. Don't get in my way. The words of a desperate man. Steve's posture relaxes slightly.]
I came here to help and that's what I'm going to do. We'll get you're friends back, so take care of the rest of the team for now. Don't rush in. The people here need you too.
no subject
He tries to push the anger down. Nothing else matters, so long as they get their people back. That's what's important, what has always been important. ]
We're not rushing. We have a plan, and it will work. It has to.
[ He steps away from Steve. Realistically, he thinks he needs to - in part because their time is short, and shortening the longer they stand here, and in part because if that argument starts up again he's likely to do something he'll regret. ]
Please, get ready to leave. I need to make sure everyone else is doing the same.
[ He turns, and then pauses. ]
If you need anything more, you can find me. What you said to me. Be careful who else you say it to. They listen.
no subject
He's going to help. If he's decided that, then it's about time he started.]
I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble. We'll accomplish this mission. I can promise you that.
[Maybe that's not quite an apology, but it's an assurance that he'll do everything in his power to help and not hinder the operation. Personal feelings or not, he's not going to get distracted.]
Thanks for the advice. I'll remember that.
no subject
But he has also seen what they're capable of. He's seen them wipe a planet from the sky, he's seen tiny little Gliese fly through Optimus Prime over and over again to leave his metallic frame riddled with holes. The scale of the danger they represent to Earth can barely be measured, so until he has a way to guarantee the planet's safety, he can't be the one to sign their death warrant. He has a duty to protect his world. He won't fail in that.
He nods to Steve. He doesn't want to see his Earth meet that fate either. All he can do is hope he got that message across. Somehow, he doubts it. He hadn't fully accepted the price he was paying until he saw them wipe out Ajna. Steve hasn't seen that, yet. ]
Try. I know how much you hate it, because I hate it. You're allowed to hate. But act against them, and they won't hesitate. That's what they told me.
[ What Armada told him. All he's doing is passing the warning on. ]
no subject
He raises his head, expression confident and calm despite the clash they just had. He was Captain America, and part of him still is yet. There's a measure of pride that goes along with that. No matter how dirty the fight gets or how hard the decisions are, he'll keep going. And he can give his full effort for something like rescuing allies and people's friends. Steve doesn't know of the bloody action the CDC has taken against mutiny, but he can guess. The reaction d'Artagnan had to his pressure--harsh in a way that was far from clinical--tells him he's walking into dangerous territory.]
I understand. There are people out there that need us, and we won't let them down. You can be sure of that much. I don't leave people behind.
no subject
[ D'Artagnan glances at him, eyes narrowing briefly. ]
Neither does the other Steve. He's a friend.
[ If they have anything in common, it would be that. Heroism. Honour. The very things that d'Artagnan admires in Steve Rogers' counterpart. He hopes this version can live up to the name.
He'll move off then, unless he's stopped for more questions. The conversation has shaken him, and he needs to refocus and make sure everyone's ready to move. The sooner this day is over, and his friends are safe again, the better. ]