Well, that makes one of us. I was on my way to try and talk him out of it when I was brought here. Aramis always loved battle. We thought he would’ve come back if he’d known about the war.
I knew you were a fighter. That you wanted to fight.
[ But been to war? That’s something else entirely. D’Artagnan’s world has very defined roles for men and women, and soldiering is absolutely in the realm of men. He has known women who have defied expectations, who have protected themselves and others, who have fought, who have even become assassins. Yet even that is not the same as fighting in war. ]
In France that is for men to do, and for soldiers particularly. Never for a Queen. Why did you have to fight? Was it your choice?
In Narnia, as well. But the High King always goes, and-
[There's a pause.]
When I was ten and five, he went to war. He is only four years older than me, you know, but I...I dressed as a boy, and hid in the garrison, and went, because I did not wish to be left behind again.
I have never seen the High King so angry as when he discovered me.
[ Yes, that sounds about right. She ought to have been protected, and instead she followed her brother. D’Artagnan can both understand the compulsion, and the King’s reaction to finding her. He’d have done the same in either one of their positions, all of which leads him to one conclusion.
Sweet, kind Queen Lucy, is trouble. If there’s trouble happening, she’s likely to find it. He wonders how easy it will be to protect someone like that.
Though they are far from home, he is glad that he and Athos have found her. ]
It’s hard to see the people you love fighting, when you’re not allowed. I’m sure that your brother was only trying to protect you, my Lady. Recently, my wife insisted on coming with us when I wanted her to stay behind. You would like her, I think.
The High King could not send me back so easily, not without losing a small force to escort me, and I would not see him fight alone. He was trying to protect me, and I wished only to protect him. He is my favorite brother, you see, in such as it is unkind to proclaim such a thing. He made me stay back, with the bowmen, but-
[She whispers, then.]
d'Artagnan, no one said to me that you have a wife. You must be so lonely, then, without her! How cruel to make you leave half your heart behind!
Oh, she is a woman after his own heart. His thoughts stray to Constance far more often than his words, for the main reason that he knows he can't just go and see her while he's here. Speaking of her always makes that want stronger.
Though the truth is, he always wants to do that anyway. Lucy is entirely right. He hates being apart from her. He had expected that separation to come because of war, but to come because of this is so much harder. ]
It...is part of why I want so badly to go home, my Lady. We were married the day before I came here. For all she knows, I have gone to war and she will never know I've gone much further.
But you're right. I miss her very much. Her name is Constance, and she is Lady in Waiting to my Queen. She would understand how you felt about fighting. She made me teach her, not long after we met.
[ He hopes that, too. It seems that something is always trying to come between himself and Constance.
But he hasn't given up on her yet. He never will. If love was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be love. ]
Thank you. I do as well. A good husband should not just disappear and leave his wife behind. I know that's not what I wanted. I hope the same for you and your family, my Lady. I'm sure you miss your brother very much.
[ Oh. Oh no, this is so very much not what he meant to do. Alarmed, he curses himself for speaking so freely. He should have been more careful. Now she's worried about her family all over again and it's all his fault.
He tries to make it better. ]
No, no no, that's not what I meant at all.
My Lady, I'm sure -
I spoke to more than one person, and their tale was always the same. None of their friends or families knew that they'd been gone. I'm sure they're right. You will see your brother again, I know you will, and he'll be just fine, and happy to see you.
It is not your fault, nor your burden to bear. It is you who should be receiving my apologies. I was selfish this night, I simply wanted to know there was another soul with me, who cared for me and cherished me out in this world, where I oft feel unloved.
[She doesn't mean romantic love, of course. She doesn't even need to think that d'Artagnan loves her. But he does care for her, and that matters so much, in the grand scheme of things.]
And for listening to my girlish, silly problems, I do thank you.
[ Of course it's not. Missing the people you love could never be silly. His bed is empty at night, when Constance should be in it. And unlike what he had expected, it's not because he's at a camp at the front lines, or holed up in the garrison. It's just because he's elsewhere, and that's entirely wrong. He understands Lucy's upset. ]
You're far from home, and those you love aren't with you. That's not silly at all. I miss people, too. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
[ He’ll hang up when the line goes dead. It’s not long before he’s fallen back to sleep, with thoughts of what they discussed still rolling around in his head. ]
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[She's teasing a little.]
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I'm not sure Aramis could forgive me for claiming that crown. He'd take offence all the way from Paris.
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[She's still teasing, playing. This is better than loneliness.]
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So you may have missed your chance. [ Which is unfortunately since, being a Queen, she's certainly his type. ] My apologies, my Lady.
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Now there’s nothing to do but wait.
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Did you know I have been to war?
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[ But been to war? That’s something else entirely. D’Artagnan’s world has very defined roles for men and women, and soldiering is absolutely in the realm of men. He has known women who have defied expectations, who have protected themselves and others, who have fought, who have even become assassins. Yet even that is not the same as fighting in war. ]
In France that is for men to do, and for soldiers particularly. Never for a Queen. Why did you have to fight? Was it your choice?
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[There's a pause.]
When I was ten and five, he went to war. He is only four years older than me, you know, but I...I dressed as a boy, and hid in the garrison, and went, because I did not wish to be left behind again.
I have never seen the High King so angry as when he discovered me.
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Sweet, kind Queen Lucy, is trouble. If there’s trouble happening, she’s likely to find it. He wonders how easy it will be to protect someone like that.
Though they are far from home, he is glad that he and Athos have found her. ]
It’s hard to see the people you love fighting, when you’re not allowed. I’m sure that your brother was only trying to protect you, my Lady. Recently, my wife insisted on coming with us when I wanted her to stay behind. You would like her, I think.
Did your brother send you home again?
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The High King could not send me back so easily, not without losing a small force to escort me, and I would not see him fight alone. He was trying to protect me, and I wished only to protect him. He is my favorite brother, you see, in such as it is unkind to proclaim such a thing. He made me stay back, with the bowmen, but-
[She whispers, then.]
d'Artagnan, no one said to me that you have a wife. You must be so lonely, then, without her! How cruel to make you leave half your heart behind!
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Oh, she is a woman after his own heart. His thoughts stray to Constance far more often than his words, for the main reason that he knows he can't just go and see her while he's here. Speaking of her always makes that want stronger.
Though the truth is, he always wants to do that anyway. Lucy is entirely right. He hates being apart from her. He had expected that separation to come because of war, but to come because of this is so much harder. ]
It...is part of why I want so badly to go home, my Lady. We were married the day before I came here. For all she knows, I have gone to war and she will never know I've gone much further.
But you're right. I miss her very much. Her name is Constance, and she is Lady in Waiting to my Queen. She would understand how you felt about fighting. She made me teach her, not long after we met.
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[There is a very quiet sadness in Lucy's voice, that he is here and his wife is elsewhere, so soon after they had been married.]
I hope to see you reunited very soon.
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But he hasn't given up on her yet. He never will. If love was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be love. ]
Thank you. I do as well. A good husband should not just disappear and leave his wife behind. I know that's not what I wanted. I hope the same for you and your family, my Lady. I'm sure you miss your brother very much.
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Luckily, it's not loud sobs, or even whimpers, it's just wet sniffling.]
I'm so sorry, I really am.
I miss my brother terribly. Everyday. What if they are wrong? What if Peter is terribly worried about where I am?
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He tries to make it better. ]
No, no no, that's not what I meant at all.
My Lady, I'm sure -
I spoke to more than one person, and their tale was always the same. None of their friends or families knew that they'd been gone. I'm sure they're right. You will see your brother again, I know you will, and he'll be just fine, and happy to see you.
Please don't cry. I'm sorry.
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I am very lonely. I have never felt lonely before.
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I'm sorry.
You're not alone, my Lady, I promise you that. I know I can't be your brother, but I am here. I won't let you be alone.
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[She doesn't mean romantic love, of course. She doesn't even need to think that d'Artagnan loves her. But he does care for her, and that matters so much, in the grand scheme of things.]
And for listening to my girlish, silly problems, I do thank you.
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[ Of course it's not. Missing the people you love could never be silly. His bed is empty at night, when Constance should be in it. And unlike what he had expected, it's not because he's at a camp at the front lines, or holed up in the garrison. It's just because he's elsewhere, and that's entirely wrong. He understands Lucy's upset. ]
You're far from home, and those you love aren't with you. That's not silly at all. I miss people, too. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
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[She whispers it, and finally-]
I will see you tomorrow, won't I?
[For whatever reason. For an outing, or for a meal, or just for company.]
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[ It's easy to promise that, and his voice sounds gentle. Already, he values Lucy's friendship. ]
I'll come to find you, when the hour is decent. You can rely on it.
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[She really is. She waits a moment, in case he wishes to say something else, but she's already falling back asleep, ready to hang up.]
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Goodnight, Queen Lucy.
[ He’ll hang up when the line goes dead. It’s not long before he’s fallen back to sleep, with thoughts of what they discussed still rolling around in his head. ]