I know, same section, saw you fighting, figure you're fine, but checking in anyway. And if a new woman on Green named Ashley Williams asks for tasks or assignments, I vouch for her.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And maybe for Joker, also a new Green. He'll complain a lot, though. Ignore that.
Me too. We've got a war back home. Every crewmember here is another that's not there.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I've messaged or run into everyone. Seen Athos and Zuko, heard back from Roxas and Hibari. Locator says they're all in camp, though. ...It's possible that some of them slept through the message.
It's all right. Listen, Hanna is awake. She's on the Network. Would you mind making sure she's caught up?
[ Because he tried, he talked to her. But she doesn't want to talk to him, that's the truth, and he doesn't want to force himself on her. Not when they have a choice about it. ]
He doesn't overly want to talk about it, doesn't want to go over it again. But Garrus is his co-lead, and Hanna's in their unit. He needs to know there's an issue, for everyone's sake. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It's complicated. She's angry with me, and she doesn't want to speak to me. She'll do her job, I know she will, but I don't want to make it harder for her.
There’s nothing to be done, Garrus. Not unless you can make me stop loving someone that I’ll probably never see again because she’s halfway across the universe and married, besides.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I told Hanna the truth because it seemed wrong not to. I don’t blame her for hating me. I never should have kissed her, Garrus. Now I can’t take it back.
And if you feel bad about not knowing, don't. I wasn't exactly broadcasting it.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe this just isn't the place for things like that. For anything serious. Between transfers and attacks by natives, it's not like there's any certainty to sticking around.
I'm sorry. It's better you end it now than be hurt later. You deserve better than that, you know.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
She's married, but not happy. We were in love, but she couldn't leave her husband. I know she wanted to. I think he made her feel guilty.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I should move on. I'm supposed to. I was trying to, I wanted to. But I can't. I still love her, and I can't pretend I don't. And Hanna, well. She deserves better than that, too.
I don't know. He turned out to be nearly everything I needed and wanted. Just one key detail short.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Vows are heavy things; there probably was guilt involved. I'm sorry the two of you are stuck, especially when you both loved.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I don't even know where to start with moving on. Which means I understand the can't. Glad you told Hanna, though. It'd be worse if you hadn't and were still trying while I love, I think.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'll try to help there. And I'll communicate between the two of you as long as you need.
Thank you. I didn't mean to put you in the middle of our problems, but it looks like our problems aren't going away. I don't want the Unit to suffer because of them.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Are you so sure Noh-Varr doesn't feel as you do? If he's everything you need, Garrus...
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I wouldn't take back a single second with Constance. Even knowing it would end, I don't regret any of it. I would do anything to be with her again.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
If there's a chance, for you two. You should fight for it. Don't just give up.
It won't. She's smart, and you're smart and professional.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
The look on his face when I was gearing up to tell him how I felt... He didn't want to hear that. And he'd been pretty clear that he didn't want a serious connection.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It was only going to hurt more, d'Artagnan. He's everything I need except for one thing - he doesn't want to love or to be loved. There's nothing to fight for when only one of you is invested.
Yeah. Let's have that drink. Wanna meet by the fire near my rover? It's warm, and we can't exactly drink in the rovers since that'd set the screamers off.
[He grabs his dextro brandy as well as the neutral wine just in case d'Artagnan doesn't have anything before heading out. Pain shared is pain that doesn't hurt as much, or something like that, right? It's close enough to pass.
He pours a glass and swirls the liquid around, looking through it at the flames. Pretty, like so much of this world. Like Noh. And only too temporary, also like this world will be and things with Noh were. Someone here has to be happy. He can hope, at least.]
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d98, 05:00
I know, same section, saw you fighting, figure you're fine, but checking in anyway. And if a new woman on Green named Ashley Williams asks for tasks or assignments, I vouch for her.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And maybe for Joker, also a new Green. He'll complain a lot, though. Ignore that.
no subject
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Do you have something against sleeping? It's five in the morning, Garrus. I was fine before you woke me up.
[ He rubs sleep out of his eyes, and reads those messages again. Williams. Joker. Okay. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I'll watch for them. They're part of your old crew?
no subject
I forget that humans sleep more than turians. Sorry about that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
They're Normandy, yeah. Williams is a foot soldier. Joker was our pilot. He can shoot, but hell if I know how he's gonna do on the field.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'll let you get back to sleep?
no subject
The CDC seem to like your crew. I'm sorry about that.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I'm awake now. Does this mean you checked in with the others, too?
no subject
Me too. We've got a war back home. Every crewmember here is another that's not there.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I've messaged or run into everyone. Seen Athos and Zuko, heard back from Roxas and Hibari. Locator says they're all in camp, though. ...It's possible that some of them slept through the message.
no subject
Well, if you will call at five in the morning.
[ Not that he's bitter. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
How much sleep to Turians need? Out of interest.
no subject
Around four hours every 24.
[Actually four hours every 24.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Sorry about forgetting. I'll remember better in the future.
no subject
That sounds exhausting.
It's all right. Listen, Hanna is awake. She's on the Network. Would you mind making sure she's caught up?
[ Because he tried, he talked to her. But she doesn't want to talk to him, that's the truth, and he doesn't want to force himself on her. Not when they have a choice about it. ]
no subject
Different species, different needs. I need to eat more than a human so my body keeps up, you need to sleep more than a turian so yours keeps up.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Already talking with her. Messaged everyone, even though I thought she was still asleep. Something happen between you both?
[He'd thought d'Artagnan and Hanna were getting close.]
no subject
He doesn't overly want to talk about it, doesn't want to go over it again. But Garrus is his co-lead, and Hanna's in their unit. He needs to know there's an issue, for everyone's sake. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It's complicated. She's angry with me, and she doesn't want to speak to me. She'll do her job, I know she will, but I don't want to make it harder for her.
no subject
Why do things always get complicated? I'll bridge for you two how you need. Just let me know if you want me to help with it?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Not like I've got any experience making things work.
no subject
You’re doing better than I am. You have Noh-Varr.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
There’s nothing to be done, Garrus. Not unless you can make me stop loving someone that I’ll probably never see again because she’s halfway across the universe and married, besides.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I told Hanna the truth because it seemed wrong not to. I don’t blame her for hating me. I never should have kissed her, Garrus. Now I can’t take it back.
no subject
I don't.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Once I figure out how to stop loving someone I'll see daily, I'll help you figure out how to stop loving someone you may never see again.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Unless you've got advice on that one.
no subject
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Noh-Varr. You aren't together anymore.
no subject
Nope.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And if you feel bad about not knowing, don't. I wasn't exactly broadcasting it.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe this just isn't the place for things like that. For anything serious. Between transfers and attacks by natives, it's not like there's any certainty to sticking around.
no subject
Do you mean what you said? That you love him, genuinely?
no subject
Yeah. I do.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
That's why it ended. He just wants a good time. Wish I could blame him for that, it'd make it easier, but I can't.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And married, huh? That's gotta be all sorts of complicated.
no subject
I'm sorry. It's better you end it now than be hurt later. You deserve better than that, you know.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
She's married, but not happy. We were in love, but she couldn't leave her husband. I know she wanted to. I think he made her feel guilty.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I should move on. I'm supposed to. I was trying to, I wanted to. But I can't. I still love her, and I can't pretend I don't. And Hanna, well. She deserves better than that, too.
no subject
I don't know. He turned out to be nearly everything I needed and wanted. Just one key detail short.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Vows are heavy things; there probably was guilt involved. I'm sorry the two of you are stuck, especially when you both loved.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I don't even know where to start with moving on. Which means I understand the can't. Glad you told Hanna, though. It'd be worse if you hadn't and were still trying while I love, I think.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'll try to help there. And I'll communicate between the two of you as long as you need.
no subject
Thank you. I didn't mean to put you in the middle of our problems, but it looks like our problems aren't going away. I don't want the Unit to suffer because of them.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Are you so sure Noh-Varr doesn't feel as you do? If he's everything you need, Garrus...
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I wouldn't take back a single second with Constance. Even knowing it would end, I don't regret any of it. I would do anything to be with her again.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
If there's a chance, for you two. You should fight for it. Don't just give up.
no subject
It won't. She's smart, and you're smart and professional.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
The look on his face when I was gearing up to tell him how I felt... He didn't want to hear that. And he'd been pretty clear that he didn't want a serious connection.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It was only going to hurt more, d'Artagnan. He's everything I need except for one thing - he doesn't want to love or to be loved. There's nothing to fight for when only one of you is invested.
no subject
Incidentally, he'd quite like to throw Noh-Varr off the nearest rovertop for this. If he wasn't invested, then he should have ended it.
Eventually: ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
You still want that drink?
no subject
Yeah. Let's have that drink. Wanna meet by the fire near my rover? It's warm, and we can't exactly drink in the rovers since that'd set the screamers off.
no subject
I'll meet you there. I won't sleep now, anyway.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Thanks, Garrus.
Action?
He pours a glass and swirls the liquid around, looking through it at the flames. Pretty, like so much of this world. Like Noh. And only too temporary, also like this world will be and things with Noh were. Someone here has to be happy. He can hope, at least.]
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