[ And she won't leave, because he threatened to kill himself if she did, and told her his blood would be on her hands. She could never live with that. So she'd stayed.
He hesitates, then adds: ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I'm sorry about your boyfriend. It was never my intent to make little of that.
[ and then there's those moments that he petulantly throws things out in the interest of being petty and upset, but doesn't actually have any want to recognize that they exist or happened or should be acknowledged or thought about. ]
I only wanted to say I sympathised, over having a hidden love. That's the part I understood. But you were right. Hiding who I love isn't the same as hiding who I am.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
She's married. That's why there's nlthing I can do.
Yeah, well, it still blows. It doesn't have to be identical to empathsize, and I appreciate the notion. Thank you.
[ really, he does. d'artagnan goes out of his way far more than he needs to for jack and his childish feelings. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Not one that means much, if she'd rather be with you.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Marriage is an old man reciting old words and fading signatures on pretentious paper. They're family bargains and political movements. Don't let that decide your life for you, or for her.
He was a good match. He's a tailor. It would have been arranged, but contracts aren't easily broken. It's not that easy.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
He told her he'd kill himself to make her stay. So she did. Even if she didn't, I have nothing to offer her. No family, no home. No money. I have nothing except the Musketeers, except my honour.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
And I left that behind on Ajna. So really? I'm worth even less than she thought.
You're worth a thousand tailors and then some, d'Artagnan, with or without what happened on Ajna or the Musketeers. You could be rolling around in the mud with pigs and you'd still be worth more.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Do you think her life will be any less miserable living with a man that threatens to kill himself to control her? What more, after he learns he can manipulate her into walking away from you with it?
[[ ooc; also, tossed up the beach thread for whenever he gets there /o/ ]]
I tried. She wouldn't come, I couldn't force her. I don't think you're wrong about him. But it's not my choice to make. I only had love to offer and it wasn't enough.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Why don't you take your own advice? You think she should escape and be with me. You should stop hiding, for the same reason. Your father isn't here.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
And even if he were he couldn't force you into anything. You should live the way you want to. Maybe then you can be happy. I want that for you.
So find another way around it. Everyone has leverage, figure out what will work for her ingrate husband. If he's using suicide to threaten her, I sincerely doubt he'll actually go through with that. That's too selfish, and suicide isn't something you commit to on specific circumstances.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
I mean to. I did tell them, d'Artagnan. The only reason I'd been keeping it quiet was the fact I didn't want them to hear yet. The universe we're in now, no one cares who I take to bed. I have that freedom already.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I can't. I tried.
[ And she won't leave, because he threatened to kill himself if she did, and told her his blood would be on her hands. She could never live with that. So she'd stayed.
He hesitates, then adds: ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I'm sorry about your boyfriend. It was never my intent to make little of that.
no subject
What's stopping you?
[ and then there's those moments that he petulantly throws things out in the interest of being petty and upset, but doesn't actually have any want to recognize that they exist or happened or should be acknowledged or thought about. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Don't be. You didn't do anything.
no subject
It doesn't matter. You're right. I shouldn't have said anything.
no subject
No. Say things. I'm already socially abrasive, if you get socially awkward this is going to stop working.
[ which was... an attempt at a joke. ill timed. fuck, he's bad at this Being A Real Friend thing. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
There's just certain things you don't get second chances at. Living with regrets is hard enough, don't die with them.
no subject
I only wanted to say I sympathised, over having a hidden love. That's the part I understood. But you were right. Hiding who I love isn't the same as hiding who I am.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
She's married. That's why there's nlthing I can do.
no subject
Yeah, well, it still blows. It doesn't have to be identical to empathsize, and I appreciate the notion. Thank you.
[ really, he does. d'artagnan goes out of his way far more than he needs to for jack and his childish feelings. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Not one that means much, if she'd rather be with you.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Marriage is an old man reciting old words and fading signatures on pretentious paper. They're family bargains and political movements. Don't let that decide your life for you, or for her.
Cw - suicide
He was a good match. He's a tailor. It would have been arranged, but contracts aren't easily broken. It's not that easy.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
He told her he'd kill himself to make her stay. So she did. Even if she didn't, I have nothing to offer her. No family, no home. No money. I have nothing except the Musketeers, except my honour.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
And I left that behind on Ajna. So really? I'm worth even less than she thought.
Cw - suicide
You're worth a thousand tailors and then some, d'Artagnan, with or without what happened on Ajna or the Musketeers. You could be rolling around in the mud with pigs and you'd still be worth more.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Do you think her life will be any less miserable living with a man that threatens to kill himself to control her? What more, after he learns he can manipulate her into walking away from you with it?
[[ ooc; also, tossed up the beach thread for whenever he gets there /o/ ]]
no subject
I tried. She wouldn't come, I couldn't force her. I don't think you're wrong about him. But it's not my choice to make. I only had love to offer and it wasn't enough.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Why don't you take your own advice? You think she should escape and be with me. You should stop hiding, for the same reason. Your father isn't here.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
And even if he were he couldn't force you into anything. You should live the way you want to. Maybe then you can be happy. I want that for you.
no subject
So find another way around it. Everyone has leverage, figure out what will work for her ingrate husband. If he's using suicide to threaten her, I sincerely doubt he'll actually go through with that. That's too selfish, and suicide isn't something you commit to on specific circumstances.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
I mean to. I did tell them, d'Artagnan. The only reason I'd been keeping it quiet was the fact I didn't want them to hear yet. The universe we're in now, no one cares who I take to bed. I have that freedom already.
no subject
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Do you really think it’s that easy to get rid of a marriage? Even if it were, I can’t give her the life he could. Especially not now that I’m here.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I’m glad you told them, though. Does this mean it’s no longer a secret, from anyone?
no subject
I really do. You're giving her a life with you. If she loves you as much as you love her, it won't matter how much better or worse it is.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
No longer a secret. Shout it from the hilltops if you'd like. [ actually no pls don't ]
no subject
I don't doubt how she feels. It's just not that simple. It's never been that simple.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
But that's good. I'm glad you told them, Jack.
no subject
I thought that too, once. [ and look what happened to him. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Yeah, well, touching as this is, I think Hanna's about to drag me into the surf for being anti-social. Are you on your way?
no subject
Yes. I'll see you soon, Jack.
no subject
See you soon.