[ He's well sandwiched between the two of them now, which is actually fine with him. He pets Koroleva's head absently, while his arm rests against her warm flank. ]
She's...
[ He breaks off, the word ending in a kind of huffed, embarrassed laugh. ]
I met her when I first came to Paris. I was running from a group of men who thought I'd killed someone. Long story. Anyway, I told her I'd give her five livres to kiss me, and then I kissed her. The men ran on, and she threatened to gut me like a fish if I ever touched her again.
But she also drove her knee into the ribs I'd just broken, and I fainted a minute later. I woke up in her spare room, where I would live for the next two months.
[ It's strange to relate that story to anyone here. D'Artagnan ducks his head, remembering those weeks. It seemed like it had lasted longer, at the time. ]
She's the kindest woman I ever met. No one else would have done what she did.
[ This time the laughter isn't embarrassed. He looks up at her, warming to the theme now. ]
It got better. Once I met the Musketeers, I worked with them while I waited for a chance to earn a commission. I stayed with Constance, and she was always drawn into what we were doing.
She got me to teach her how to fight, and shoot. I always wanted to protect her, and I probably got her into more trouble than she'd ever dreamed of. But she seemed to like it. The adventure. In the end our affair, it didn't even last that long. She ended it, twice. I'm supposed to be moving on.
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He stares at her now, his own problems momentarily forgotten. How can she say it's worth it, if this is what she's been through. ]
He put that collar on you.
He made you his slave. And you loved him?
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I didn't say it was right to.
But sometimes we can't help the way we feel. No matter how wrong it is.
At least I did leave him!
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D'Artagnan sighs. He moves his arm around her then, so that he has one around Alina and one around Koroleva, and he's hugging them both. ]
No. You're right. We can't always help how we feel. I know that far too well.
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Tell me about your love in Paris. You've never mentioned her before.
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She's...
[ He breaks off, the word ending in a kind of huffed, embarrassed laugh. ]
I met her when I first came to Paris. I was running from a group of men who thought I'd killed someone. Long story. Anyway, I told her I'd give her five livres to kiss me, and then I kissed her. The men ran on, and she threatened to gut me like a fish if I ever touched her again.
But she also drove her knee into the ribs I'd just broken, and I fainted a minute later. I woke up in her spare room, where I would live for the next two months.
[ It's strange to relate that story to anyone here. D'Artagnan ducks his head, remembering those weeks. It seemed like it had lasted longer, at the time. ]
She's the kindest woman I ever met. No one else would have done what she did.
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But when he finishes, she grins at him. ]
I can tell you love her.
Only love could make a story that silly end the way you did. [ She beams at him. ]
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It got better. Once I met the Musketeers, I worked with them while I waited for a chance to earn a commission. I stayed with Constance, and she was always drawn into what we were doing.
She got me to teach her how to fight, and shoot. I always wanted to protect her, and I probably got her into more trouble than she'd ever dreamed of. But she seemed to like it. The adventure. In the end our affair, it didn't even last that long. She ended it, twice. I'm supposed to be moving on.
It's easier to say than to do.
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[ She hugs him tightly suddenly, making Koroleva shuffle slightly to make room for him. ]
Whatever makes you happy. I'll help you with it.
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I don't know if you can help me. I don't know what I want.
I still love her, Alina. I think I always will.
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I get that too...
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[ He looks at her, finally. ]
Not if I'm kissing another woman at the same time.
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[ She squeezes his hand as she takes it again. ]
Don't be so harsh on yourself.
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[ He leans back, though he keeps Alina's hand. ]
I don't know if Hanna will be this understanding.
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If it's not okay well.... things will sort themselves out eventually. [ Deep sigh. ]
They usually do.
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[ Though he's not sure it's ever going to sound particularly nice. D'Artagnan looks at her, fondness creeping into his eyes. ]
That was optimistic, though. Thanks.
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Sorry I reacted badly at first.
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You didn't.
I just don't want you to pretend with me. Even if I hurt you, I'd rather know.
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You're going to be a married woman, Alina.
[ Gently. ] I can't go down that path again. I'd drive myself mad.
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And now she knows. She knows what's happened to him and what she's doing.
She scoots away from him now, not looking at him. ]
I'm sorry. No, you're right. I can't do that to you either.
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I didn't mean you had to move.
Your husband will be a lucky man. I don't want us to stop being friends.
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I want to be your friend too.
I'm sorry. I'm so selfish.
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Or because of Hanna. D'Artagnan doesn't want to lose Alina. He's selfish, too. ]
Stop. Just come here. I'm the same person I was ten minutes ago, Alina. There's no need to be shy about it now.
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This is okay, then?
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It was before. [ He lifts an eyebrow, smiling at her again. ] I don't want things to change. If you didn't sit like this with me, I'd miss you.
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