[ There's a lump in her chest that just won't go away. It's not that she wants to leave d'Artagnan. That's the last thing she wants. Especially right now. Especially as he talks so kindly and rubs her arm and smiles despite it all.
Why does she always do this to herself? To those she loves?
She turns her face against his shoulder. ]
I love you. You're my best friend, d'Artagnan. In any world.
[ He just hugs her now. He pulls her in against his chest and sets his chin on the top of her head.
He hates the thought of Alina moving out. Now she and Athos will live together, and neither one of them will be with him. After everything that's happened recently with Hanna, and with Jack, this is the last thing he wants.
He can't tell her that, though. ]
I'll miss you. [ He can say that much, can't he? He moves his hand to curl around her wrist, and he holds it. ] I love you too. You know I do.
[ He pulls her close, hugging her, and then makes himself smile. ]
But you'll always be my friend. That's not going to change. I promise you, I'll always be here for you.
[ He wouldn't call it selfish. He doesn't want her to leave, either. They always sit together, always talk. When she has nightmares, he holds her until she feels better.
He'll miss that, all of it. But he's not her lover, and never has been. He has to let her go. ]
I promise, too. But you're engaged to be married, Alina. You'll be happy there.
[ He smiles at her, even though he doesn't really feel it. ]
[ He wraps her up closely, drawing her against him. He doesn't want her to feel bad.
This is strange. She should be telling him this like it's a happy thing. It ought to make her happy. He squeezes her hand. ]
Alina.
This is what you want, isn't it? Marrying this man. [ He reaches down, finding her chin and lifting her head up to look at him. ] Prince or not. Whether you think it's best, or not. You need to marry for love, not out of duty. I've seen how unhappy a wife can be when it's not for love.
[ She looks up at him as he pulls her chin up. She can't help but smile a little at his words. He's concerned for her. Worried about her.
She nods her head. ]
I do want this. I love him, d'Artagnan. I don't doubt that. In fact, the reason he waited so long to ask me was because I wanted to be certain we did this for love and not duty. [ She gives a slight laugh. ] Trust me. He asked me to marry him the day I knew who he was. he wasn't shy about. I made him wait, I promise.
I just... [ She dips her head and nuzzles his shoulder a bit. ] I wish I didn't have to leave you to move in with him. I'm selfish that way.
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Why does she always do this to herself? To those she loves?
She turns her face against his shoulder. ]
I love you. You're my best friend, d'Artagnan. In any world.
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He hates the thought of Alina moving out. Now she and Athos will live together, and neither one of them will be with him. After everything that's happened recently with Hanna, and with Jack, this is the last thing he wants.
He can't tell her that, though. ]
I'll miss you. [ He can say that much, can't he? He moves his hand to curl around her wrist, and he holds it. ] I love you too. You know I do.
[ He pulls her close, hugging her, and then makes himself smile. ]
But you'll always be my friend. That's not going to change. I promise you, I'll always be here for you.
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She wishes she didn't have to leave d'Artagnan behind to move in with Sturmhond. But that's just the selfishness in her again. As it's always been. ]
I know. [ She says softly. ]
I'll see you every day, still. I promise.
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He'll miss that, all of it. But he's not her lover, and never has been. He has to let her go. ]
I promise, too. But you're engaged to be married, Alina. You'll be happy there.
[ He smiles at her, even though he doesn't really feel it. ]
When are you going?
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She curls in against his side. She'll miss this .So she gets as much of it as she can now. Not that they can never do it again just....
It won't quite be the same. ]
I don't know yet. I haven't even asked Ghost. He could always say no.
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This is strange. She should be telling him this like it's a happy thing. It ought to make her happy. He squeezes her hand. ]
Alina.
This is what you want, isn't it? Marrying this man. [ He reaches down, finding her chin and lifting her head up to look at him. ] Prince or not. Whether you think it's best, or not. You need to marry for love, not out of duty. I've seen how unhappy a wife can be when it's not for love.
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She nods her head. ]
I do want this. I love him, d'Artagnan. I don't doubt that. In fact, the reason he waited so long to ask me was because I wanted to be certain we did this for love and not duty. [ She gives a slight laugh. ] Trust me. He asked me to marry him the day I knew who he was. he wasn't shy about. I made him wait, I promise.
I just... [ She dips her head and nuzzles his shoulder a bit. ] I wish I didn't have to leave you to move in with him. I'm selfish that way.
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Alina.
[ He takes her hand, holding it gently. ]
I want to see you happy. That's all. I promise, I'll still be here for you.
[ He promises that, not knowing how quickly he'll have to leave her with no warning at all. ]