[ She gets up when he comes in, her eyes puffy and her nose and cheeks reddened even though she's finally stopped crying. She'll probably start again soon.
Either way, she comes to d'Artagnan the moment he enters and her arms go tightly around him as she buries her face against his chest. ]
[ She'd said she needed him. She never says that, so he'd known it must have been serious.
He still hadn't expected this. He looks startled at the sight of her face, but then as she clings to him, he puts his arms around her and hugs her tightly. He pulls her close, rubbing her back. ]
Alina.
For God's sake, what's the matter? Did someone hurt you? What happened?
[ He pulls back, though not away from her. He has to see her face, has to understand what she means. Because she can't mean what she's saying. He reaches for her cheek, raises her face up to his and keeps hold of it, frightened by how tearful it seems.
She looks like she's been crying for hours. ]
Who did you kill? Alina, talk to me, tell me what happened. It's all right. I'm here now, I'll help you.
It was about trusting and trusting lives with us as leaders and how sometimes someone has to die for others to live and being able to make that choice... [ That choice she feels like she made wrongly, but made all the same.
She takes a deep breath to stop her rambling. ]
I put your name down first. [ She says softly. ] I changed it when I learned the mission.
[ They would. He knows it. When he’s not full of anger and he’s
thinking straight, he knows that, and he’s more careful.
But right now, seeing her look like this? Hearing the pain in her
voice? All he wants is to protect her from that feeling and make this go
away. ]
I won’t let that happen. They can’t do this, they can’t just get away with
this.
Was it just you? [ He’s thinking of Simon, now, of that strange
message about Ivan’s madu. How little sense that had made, how it had
seemed something was wrong, and now… ] Tell me. Was it just you or
was it everyone in Blue?
How many of them are there? Because that's how many bodies there'll have to be. Either because the Blues will die, or...
Or their friends will. Oh God, dear God. Athos. Aramis. he has to warn them.
He holds Alina tightly, even while fear spreads through him. ]
It's...
It's all right. Come on. Sit down, you need to sit, and we can talk. I'm just going to let Athos know I'm not coming back, okay? I'm going to help you. I promise.
[ She swallows hard and nods, letting him go so that he can get in contact with Athos as she goes to her bed to sit on it. She pulls her knees up and wraps her arms around her legs. ]
[ Spoken like a true soldier. She was a soldier too, but she had never had d'Artagnan's fervor for it. Not until she was the only person who could save her country.
She doesn't resist him and curls in against him. ]
[ She's stopped sobbing and shaking. She's still crying, but it's less consuming now. She wonders how long it will be until she finally stops crying. ]
It's required. Everyone at 14 must enlist in the army.
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I'm already coming.
[ And, true to his word, only a couple of minutes later he's pushing his way through the rover door and looking around for her. ]
Alina?
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Either way, she comes to d'Artagnan the moment he enters and her arms go tightly around him as she buries her face against his chest. ]
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He still hadn't expected this. He looks startled at the sight of her face, but then as she clings to him, he puts his arms around her and hugs her tightly. He pulls her close, rubbing her back. ]
Alina.
For God's sake, what's the matter? Did someone hurt you? What happened?
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I hurt someone. I killed someone, d'Artagnan. Another recruit.
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[ He pulls back, though not away from her. He has to see her face, has to understand what she means. Because she can't mean what she's saying. He reaches for her cheek, raises her face up to his and keeps hold of it, frightened by how tearful it seems.
She looks like she's been crying for hours. ]
Who did you kill? Alina, talk to me, tell me what happened. It's all right. I'm here now, I'll help you.
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It was our mission. It was the blue team mission. We had to kill someone.
I killed Kotetsu.
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She can't be serious. She can't, they wouldn't - ]
Those were your orders?
But why? Alina, why, how could they-?
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She takes a deep breath to stop her rambling. ]
I put your name down first. [ She says softly. ] I changed it when I learned the mission.
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And then that he might have been part of it. That she could have been killing him tonight, and these tears might be for him.
They're not. They're for someone else. The Instructors forced this on her. Her face looks like this because of them.
Never in all his time here has he hated them more than this. ]
You should have told me.
You should have told me and we'd have stopped it together. Is this what they do, what they want from you? I'll kill them for doing this to you.
[ He gathers her back up now, pulling her tightly against his chest. ]
I swear it. Our lives mean nothing to them, and never did.
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You can't, d'Artagnan. They'll kill you if you try.
[ She holds him tightly. ]
Please don't talk like that.
I can't keep losing people.
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[ They would. He knows it. When he’s not full of anger and he’s thinking straight, he knows that, and he’s more careful.
But right now, seeing her look like this? Hearing the pain in her voice? All he wants is to protect her from that feeling and make this go away. ]
I won’t let that happen. They can’t do this, they can’t just get away with this.
Was it just you? [ He’s thinking of Simon, now, of that strange message about Ivan’s madu. How little sense that had made, how it had seemed something was wrong, and now… ] Tell me. Was it just you or was it everyone in Blue?
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Convince who we trust to let us kill them, or convince them to kill us. [ She feels ashamed. Would d'Artagnan hate her for the choice she made? ]
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How many of them are there? Because that's how many bodies there'll have to be. Either because the Blues will die, or...
Or their friends will. Oh God, dear God. Athos. Aramis. he has to warn them.
He holds Alina tightly, even while fear spreads through him. ]
It's...
It's all right. Come on. Sit down, you need to sit, and we can talk. I'm just going to let Athos know I'm not coming back, okay? I'm going to help you. I promise.
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I'm becoming like him, d'Artagnan....
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That should be enough for now. He'll explain better when he has more time, but he has to look after Alina first.
He goes to her now, sitting on the bed beside her and immediately putting his arm around her. ]
No. No, you aren't. You're not a murderer, Alina. You were following your orders, as any good soldier must.
We follow them to the end, even when we don't like where they lead. You know that.
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She doesn't resist him and curls in against him. ]
I never wanted to be a soldier.
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She's been a leader. It's hard to believe that's not natural for her. ]
Didn't you? You're good at it. Why did you become one, then?
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It's required. Everyone at 14 must enlist in the army.
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That startles him, though. He leans to look down at her. ]
At fourteen? But you're children. Even the women, all of them?