They won't know what you've done. Sometimes you have to do... a lot of bad things to do something better. You've got the heart of a hero, and you won't lose it despite this.
You won't be alone. Athos will know. And even if you find someone who doesn't believe you, who thinks you're crazy, you'll have them too so you can get it off your chest.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
Maybe it's not about believing you, it's about you telling the story. That's just as important.
They don't have a right to anything. I know right now you might think it's bad, but trust me. I've been through bad things. There's a lot of good that comes from the bad.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I wouldn't have met you if we both weren't dragged into this.
I know, but that doesn't mean I wasn't stupid to get drawn into this in the first place. If I'd asked questions instead of rushing in blindly, I wouldn't be here.
[ Or so he thinks. The truth is, they'd probably have found a way to force him anyway. It's far easier to blame himself, though. ]
They're vague on purpose. These people aren't nice people. Nothing would've changed. They wanted us, and they would've found a way to get us.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
D'Artagnan, please stop blaming yourself. Stop shouldering these burdens. They're not all yours, they're ours too, or maybe no one's.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
This isn't you anymore. It's us. It's everyone. No one knows the truth, and that's why we're here. Not because we didn't ask questions, but because we didn't get the answers.
[ He doesn't answer right away, but thinks about that. After a moment he sighs, and runs his hands though his hair. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Maybe you're right. I think I'd like you to be.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It doesn't matter now. All I care about is making sure the people who matter to me stay safe. If I can't promise anything else, maybe I can manage that.
[ It's the only form of honour left to him, after all. ]
You will. You'll do that and more. You don't see it but I do.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I make bad choices, but I make really great ones too. It's my choice to trust you and believe in you, and you have to believe me when I tell you you're going to be great.
[ He doesn't know what to say to that, how to answer it.
There's so much he hasn't told her. So much that's been left unsaid. Chief among them, that there's a woman back in France that he can't be with, but he's fairly sure he's still in love with. That he's too afraid that Hanna's trust and belief come from feelings that aren't trust or belief, and that he doesn't actually deserve any of the three.
More than he thinks he is? She deserves better than what he's giving her.
He doesn't answer, in the end. He lets it lie, and he'll keep her words close even while they make him feel guilty for not telling her what he left behind. ]
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Mm. I'll think about it.
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You’re teasing me again.
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Maybe, but I do really think you're a hero. If not, you'll be one someday.
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I wanted to be a Musketeer. I suppose being a hero wouldn't be too much of a step down.
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FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
It wouldn't hurt your resume.
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Well, I need something to balance out 'Destroyer of Worlds'. Somehow, I don't see many people thinking I'm much of a hero after that.
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They won't know what you've done. Sometimes you have to do... a lot of bad things to do something better. You've got the heart of a hero, and you won't lose it despite this.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
Don't forget that. I have faith in you.
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I think that means more than you know. I hope you're right.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
After all, I'll still know what I've done.
[ And he's seen how secrets can shatter a man. He doesn't know if he can do that. ]
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You won't be alone. Athos will know. And even if you find someone who doesn't believe you, who thinks you're crazy, you'll have them too so you can get it off your chest.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
Maybe it's not about believing you, it's about you telling the story. That's just as important.
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FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t think it’s a story I’d ever want to tell. What would they think of me, if they believed any part of it?
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FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
It doesn't matter if you want to tell it, you might need to tell it. You'll go crazy holding it all in.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
They'll be stupid to judge you so quickly.
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They'd be right to. I wouldn't blame them.
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They don't have a right to anything. I know right now you might think it's bad, but trust me. I've been through bad things. There's a lot of good that comes from the bad.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I wouldn't have met you if we both weren't dragged into this.
no subject
I know, but that doesn't mean I wasn't stupid to get drawn into this in the first place. If I'd asked questions instead of rushing in blindly, I wouldn't be here.
[ Or so he thinks. The truth is, they'd probably have found a way to force him anyway. It's far easier to blame himself, though. ]
no subject
They're vague on purpose. These people aren't nice people. Nothing would've changed. They wanted us, and they would've found a way to get us.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
D'Artagnan, please stop blaming yourself. Stop shouldering these burdens. They're not all yours, they're ours too, or maybe no one's.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
This isn't you anymore. It's us. It's everyone. No one knows the truth, and that's why we're here. Not because we didn't ask questions, but because we didn't get the answers.
no subject
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Maybe you're right. I think I'd like you to be.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It doesn't matter now. All I care about is making sure the people who matter to me stay safe. If I can't promise anything else, maybe I can manage that.
[ It's the only form of honour left to him, after all. ]
no subject
You will. You'll do that and more. You don't see it but I do.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I make bad choices, but I make really great ones too. It's my choice to trust you and believe in you, and you have to believe me when I tell you you're going to be great.
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
You're more than you think you are.
no subject
There's so much he hasn't told her. So much that's been left unsaid. Chief among them, that there's a woman back in France that he can't be with, but he's fairly sure he's still in love with. That he's too afraid that Hanna's trust and belief come from feelings that aren't trust or belief, and that he doesn't actually deserve any of the three.
More than he thinks he is? She deserves better than what he's giving her.
He doesn't answer, in the end. He lets it lie, and he'll keep her words close even while they make him feel guilty for not telling her what he left behind. ]